Mourning Dove Studio LLC

Monalisa Gilbert from bymonalisa.comSunday, August 22nd 2010 2:28PM

For the person that has the scarves - Take a piece from each scarf and place them in a design on a piece of cardboard that has been covered with fabric for a background.  After this is done you can have everything framed.  The pieces can be twisted and laid in several different directions.

armbandsTuesday, June 22nd 2010 3:38PM

A woman who had lived in Austria reported that people there wore black armbands, possibly for about a month, to indicate that they were grieving.  She liked this custom because, as she said, it helped people be a little kinder in their interactions with the griever.  I've often thought that it's too bad that we no longer have this unspoken information conveyed from people wearing black armbands or black clothing here (although I realize that my own fashion sense relies on being able to regularly wear black simply by choice).  Your world has changed when someone dies, and sometimes it's jarring that the rest of the world just keeps going on.

bumper stickerMonday, June 7th 2010 9:35PM

For several years I've seen a car with small bumper sticker (not on the bumper) with a picture and dates of birth and death.

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Honoring Uncle JimWednesday, June 2nd 2010 7:54PM

 My Uncle Jim was dying at home and my Aunt Lorraine asked me and my mother  to stay overnight with her because she felt the time was close. We helped her change his pajamas that night and when she told him "I love you" he responded with his own "I love you."  We said goodnight and she tucked herself in beside him as she always had.

  I slept in their living room and at 3AM my aunt came to me and said that she thought he had passed and would I come into their room because she wasn't sure. I told her he had left his body and it was sweet to see him in just the exact position he had when we tucked him in. We woke my mother and spent the next few hours in the kitchen over coffee talking about our dear Uncle. He was the most perfect gentleman and had lived his values honorably.

  As we talked, my Aunt mentioned that she wanted him to be buried in one of my coffins. I had painted some nice wooden coffins. She and my uncle had always chosen very usual things during their life together in regard to their belongings and I was surprised that this was her choice now. She wanted me to add a painting of the plane he flew during World War II to the coffin. I always tried to leave some place for something personal on a coffin, but this one was special because I had tried over and over to find what would complete the design in that spot and failed. Finally I left that area blank and now the placement of the plane was more perfect than I could have planned.

  During those long ago flying missions my uncle had suffered from frostbite and lost some sensation as a result, but he regarded his service as a gift he gave to the world.  His three sons, coming from a distance, saw his coffin for the first time at the funeral service and thanked me deeply. I was grateful to have been a part of his tribute.

Susan Rose  A Living Memorial ServiceSunday, May 23rd 2010 10:32AM

Gabe Williamson was dying.  The congregation he belonged to, the Ethical Culture Society of Essex County, in Maplewood, NJ, wanted to celebrate his long life.

I wasn't a member of this congregation when Gabe was dying, it happened  years before I moved to New Jersey.  But the living memorial they created for him had such a strong impact on the congregation, that I heard about it regulary from a variety of people.  Everyone thought it was wonderful.  I might not have all the details exactly right, but this is my sense of what happened.

Gabe was brought to the Society meeting house, a space that had been a big home at one point, and still retained that cozy feeling.  The couch was his resting place for this event.  

Gabe had had a long and active life.  There were many people who came to share their appreciation with Gabe, his family, and the assembled congregation.  I'm pretty sure there was music he had selected, and I can't imagine that there wasn't a whole lot of good food, something that was a hallmark of events at that Society, when I became a member.

The sentiment I heard repeated the most was, how wonderful it was that people got to tell Gabe what he meant to them while he was alive.  That they knew that he died knowing how much they respected him, and valued the work he had done; that they were glad he  was in their lives.

Gabe died 4 weeks after his congregation, his friends and loved ones had gathered to honor him.

I first heard about this living memorial service well over 20 years ago.  While I haven't had the opportunity to participate in a living memorial, the idea of sharing with people how much they mean to me, is one I try to adopt, and I have shared the idea as a possibility for many people.  Maybe someday there will be a living memorial service for me.

Susan Rose

Leader, Ethical Society Without Walls

• http://www.eswow.org

Written notesSunday, May 23rd 2010 8:40AM

Several years ago when a good friend died after a long illness. Before he died, he had wanted the wishes of his friends to be buried with him. We all wrote notes and letters to him about what he meant to us. Those letters were tucked into his casket and buried with him. We felt that we were able to honor his final wishes in this way.

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NascarSunday, May 23rd 2010 12:44AM

The daughter of a man who had loved Nascar racing wanted to incorporate that into his funeral, but discreetly.  She had flowers placed at the end of the church pews that were tied with a ribbon with a small black and white check print on it, evoking the racing start flag.  It made her smile a little even in the midst of her sadness.

Scarves?Sunday, May 23rd 2010 12:39AM

A dear friend of mine has saved the many scarves her mother often wore (made from silk, chiffon, etc).  She would like to use them to create some sort of tribute which she could see, rather than leave them in a box.  We're hoping someone might have some ideas to share about this.  Thank you.

The Dinner PartySunday, May 23rd 2010 12:32AM

Several years ago a woman told us this story of how she was able to honor her parents.  The way I remember it was that they had either both received a terminal diagnosis or were quite sick.  Since they had always been very social and held many meals and gatherings at their home, she remembered an art installation piece from the 1970's by Judy Chicago called The Dinner Party.  She drew inspiration from this, not directly copying the idea of using each place setting to commemorate a famous woman in history, but rather had each place setting focus on a different aspect of her parents' lives which she wished to honor.

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Flannel Shirt QuiltSunday, May 23rd 2010 12:17AM

I saw an almost completed quilt made by a young woman who planned to give it to her grandmother in memory of her grandfather.  He had typically worn a flannel shirt and now these shirts were transformed into this warm, lovely, comforting memorial.  The outside binding was made up of the cuffs of the shirt sleeves, while the squares were cut from the shirt itself, with some of the squares including a shirt pocket.